The X-Factor USA: Who should host? Who should judge?

So rumours are flying as to the fate of the US XFactor for next season. Steve Jones says he won't be back. Apparently Scherzinger has been sacked(maybe cos Americans are suckers for little girls who cry. I think I was a joke to have someone so young competing in the first place. Also it was hilarious. tv gold.), and its questionable as to whether Paula will be back.

The biggest rumour I've heard is that Simon has offered Beyonce like $500million to do it. Obviously that would be freaking amazing, and it would probably be good timing given she is a new mum and all that, but she is a real, proper superstar. I mean, she only has one name- she doesn't need to do a TV talent show. The same can't be said for her former bandmates. This leads to my solution. I think they should take Kelly. She is more than a little annoying- which is why America would love her. She wouldn't make little girls cry- shes too American, too chirpy, too...annoying! I love both Cheryl and Dannii so either of them could come back to fill her seat on the UK judging panel.
As for who can replace Paula...thats a toughie. She is kinda in a league of her own(thats not necessarily a compliment). They need someone sorta in the same age bracket and similar experience. All I have come up with is either Gloria Estefan or Whitney Houston- both of whom I personally have never seen in that kind of tv role before, but they can't be worse than Paula! If the budget would stretch far enough, I reckon Janet Jackson would be a great choice. She would surely help the ratings, and I imagine she would be constructive and no-nonsense with the right amount of not-making-girls-cry-ness.

Now, who to host? I actually have nothing. I really don't know. I think that's because those kind of hosts are always annoying, whoever they are, so I don't think there is anyone who wouldn't annoy me. But I'm thinking maybe they should buck trend and go with a chick. I think Cat Deely is very very good on 'So You Think You Can Dance?' so maybe her? She's better than Seacrest anyway.
My actual dream panel, if I could choose anyone at all, would be as camp as a row of tents! I am thinking Cher, Bette Midler and Kylie Minogue alongside Simon. Actually, we need someone dreamier than Simon to look at...maybe someone a bit smooth and sophisticated- Chris Isaac or Harry Conick Jnr would do. They would have the Charisma.
While I don't think any of my suggestions will make it to Mr. Cowell, I will be watching him with great interest. I'd love to see all the behind-the-scenes negotiation and drama that goes into these kinds of decisions. I look forward to seeing who he comes up with.